| by Gajalakshmi Paramasivam
( December 30, 2012, Melbourne, Sri Lanka
Guardian) I write in response to Sri Lanka Guardian article ‘Pope Benedict: Gay Marriage Destroys theEssence of the Human Creature’ by Professor S. Ratnajeevan H. Hoole
A recent meeting with a gay couple with two
daughters – with the third on the way – made me think more about gay marriages.
They are part of our current environment and to me that is our reality. I was
fairly untouched by the challenges of gay relationships until a member of our
family’s gay relationship and birth of their daughter became common knowledge.
Back then I felt deeply for the challenges that the mother of this gay lady
would face in our community. Meeting this other couple this week made me think
further and more deeply – especially from the angle of the children.
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The problem I saw with the couple that I met was that scientifically speaking the brother of one of the partners is the scientific father of the child. Hence biologically speaking – the brother was the father of his sister’s children.
Professor Hoole states ‘To write on
homosexuality is dangerous because of social trends. Upholding traditional
marriage is seen as fuddy-duddy. Yet I do it to show that the Christian
position is thought-through. To explore the situation properly one needs to be
explicit; my apologies to anyone offended.
The Christian Position
The Christian position is laid down by Jesus
Christ himself in the Gospel according to St. Matthew:
And Pharisees came up to him and tested him
by asking, "Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?" He
answered, "Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made
them male and female, and said, `For this reason a man shall leave his father
and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So
they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together,
let not man put asunder." [St. Matt., 19:3-6].’
The question is how many Christians marry as
per the Divine influence of Love? Sure – if God did join them – then man would
not be able to separate them. The above would not apply to most marriages –
Christian marriages included.
Also,
as per the above a Christian ‘man shall leave his father and mother and
be joined to his wife’ If the above were
true – then Jesus also would have joined his wife and every Christian man has the duty to join his wife.
No Christian man has the choice of remaining unmarried. Every Christian
couple thus married – with God as their
witness cannot be divorced.
We
Hindus see marriage differently. Lord
Shiva has Uma as His Equal Half. Shiva’s son Muruga married twice – once as arranged by Family
and the other as His choice. Lord Krishna when He was born on earth married
twice and in addition Radha was His Love.. There is room for all forms of
marriage in Hinduism. In terms of Homosexuality also – we have the example of Lord Shiva falling in love with Vishnu in
Mohini (Damsel) form and gave birth to Hariharan (Hari = Vishnu; Haran =
Shiva). As per this – the child was born only because at that time Vishnu was
a female. Scientifically speaking
therefore – a male and female are needed to create new life.
The problem I saw with the couple that I met
was that scientifically speaking the brother of one of the partners is the
scientific father of the child. Hence
biologically speaking – the brother was the father of his sister’s
children. This negates the value of
cultures that ban sex between parents and children and therefore between
siblings. Looking at it philosophically – it helps the mental development of
children when they have knowledge of such ban. In addition, it promotes
multiculturalism and democracy as we marry outside our biological circles. This also confirms the Christian value as
stated above.
Each environment is driven by its own set of
laws including in terms of marriage. The only law that fits all is the law of
Love/Truth. Partnerships including gay
partnerships that are driven by Love / Truth – are healthy for society. But
such partners would not seek the outcomes of another system. They would on the
other hand be self sufficient and complete. Gay couples who desire children are
actually confirming that they are not yet
complete in their partnership. Hence their challenges when they ‘adopt’
children – would be far stronger than those faced by male-female partnerships.
Even children who have their biological origin in one parent are half-adopted
children. One needs a higher mind to
lead such a family towards love and completion.
At least one partner needs to have that higher mind if the children of
such partnership is not to suffer more than the common member of their
environment.
Laws – be they secular or religious – would
help us address the challenges in a conscious and calculated path. Facilitating
that is also the duty of a Government.
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The way a Christian manages the issue would be different to the way a Hindu manages this issue. Likewise, the way a Sri Lankan manages this issue would be different to the way an American would . The basic difference is due to the form we give our beliefs.
Below is an excerpt from my book in regard to
laws: ‘To me, laws are also plans. We include the needs of all concerned and
draw up the consolidated essence of it
through laws. Some laws, such as customary laws, are based strongly on the longstanding
reality in an area/culture. Some of these customs are not in official form. If there is harmony in that area in which these
customs are actively practiced – then
these are very much part of the natural
laws of that area. The official government needs to recognize this and stay
away from it if it does not understand or appreciate these
common customs or if they seek to come into that area, they need to
include such customs in their own official budget/laws. Currently, in Sri
Lanka, there are groups that have become ‘global’ ahead of the Government. A
Government that incorporates those
values in its own laws would be a democratic and progressive one. At South
Eastern Sydney Area Health Service, where I was Revenue Manager, the internal
auditor who was allocated the responsibility to ‘audit’ my restructured systems
reported that I was five steps ahead of them! I believe that I am likewise, ahead of the Australian
Government in terms of Equal Opportunity values. ‘
Professor Hoole states ‘President Obama after
saying a few years ago that he is personally not for gay marriage, has recently
reversed himself. Surely we in Sri Lanka will face the question in the next few
years. It is therefore good to think about it.’
The way a Christian manages the issue would
be different to the way a Hindu manages this issue. Likewise, the way a Sri
Lankan manages this issue would be different to the way an American would . The
basic difference is due to the form we give our beliefs. If we indiscriminately
mix ‘systems’ through ‘forms’ there would be chaos in our minds. If on the other
hand we let them develop naturally – they would merge at the higher level –
where one is not conscious of forms but just has the experience – of one human
being merging with another. At that
stage one does not need physical connections. When one needs physical
connections – one needs laws to regulate and reach the destination of
Love. The question is which path does
Professor Hoole recommend to himself – in relation to all his relationships –
Sri Lankan or American? That is the path through which he could lead others at
the physical level.
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