The Colombans are a quaint lot, aren’t they?

By Malinda Seneviratne

(January 24, Colombo, Sri Lanka Guardian) I think it was that eminent lawyer and staunch nationalist Gomin Dayasri who coined the term ‘Colombians’ to refer to those individuals living in Colombo who don’t seem to have a clue about the rest of the country and erroneously believe that they know everything, are above ‘petty politics’ and the ‘riffraff’ and are somehow describable as ‘good’, ‘wise’, ‘progressive’ etc.

My friend Errol Alphonso, avid reader, web-crawler and one whose writing/editing skills are sadly unrecognized and un-utilized, pointed out the other day that the better term would be ‘Colombans’, because ‘Colombian’ can be taken as reference to those living in Colombia or trace origin to that country.

Colombans are interesting creatures. They tend to vote UNP. They live mostly within the Colombo municipal limits unless they have opted for a Bo-bo (bourgeois-bohemian) lifestyle, in which case they would live in one of the suburbs with large gardens, antiques and surrounded by cultural artifacts. They are all fluent speakers of English. The vast majority are not very conversant in either Sinhala or Tamil to the point that it would be hard to call them ‘native speakers’ of either language, unless on goes by surname, birth certificate and ancestry.

Sarath Fonseka will win the presidential election hands down, I am convinced. There is a small disclaimer here: IF Sri Lanka was made up of just 6 electorates, Colombo East, Colombo West, Colombo Central, Colombo South, Colombo North and Borella. Let me put things in perspective. Suppose it is a contest between Mahinda Rajapaksa and Mervin Silva (Mervin having crossed over and contesting under the Elephant symbol or a UNP-supported ‘Swan’ symbol). Does anyone think that Mahinda has even a ghost of a chance (provided that Sri Lanka was made of just those 6 electorates)?

In 2005, Ranil swept these electorates. The Colombans backed him to the hilt. I am convinced that had Ranil said that he would sell Sri Lanka (not just those 6 electorates but the entire island) to Prabhakaran because ‘that’s the way to peace’, he would still have won by a handsome margin.

In 2005 we had lots of doomsday prophets predicting hell on earth if Mahinda Rajapaksa won. We were told then that it was ‘the last chance for peace’. We were told that there would be war (as though ‘war’ was ever an option for any Government for it was always the LTTE the declared war) and that Colombo would be reduced to rubble by the LTTE. We were told that Mahinda being a crude yakkho from some place no one had ever heard of would be at a loss in the diplomatic arena. We were told that Ranil is an expert economist and that in contrast Mahinda was a know-nothing joker. Investments and aid would dry up. There would be galloping and uncontrollable inflation. There would be unemployment and declining incomes. As such we were told that the economy would collapse.

Mahinda won and we’ve have 4 years of Mahinda Chinthanaya. We can now look back at these predictions.

There were inbuilt advantages to the Colomban Thesis. First, a constitutional nightmare called the PR system that made the incumbent president/government jittery whenever the budget vote came around. All Presidents live with a sword hanging over their heads. It’s called ‘crossover’. That’s how the PR system functions as an ever-present trick to trip governments/presidents. Given Sri Lanka is not a rich and powerful country, the fears and difficulties of a voter can easily be manipulated when necessary. Throw in a war and bombs going off at random and one realizes that the opposition is not exactly powerless. A political culture that promotes wastage, the election of the incompetent and crooked makes matters worse. Add to this the global financial crisis, the oil price fluctuations, food price hikes and glaring errors on the part of the President and we should be wondering how on earth Mahinda Rajapaksa lasted so long!

What did happen, though? The LTTE upped the ante, there were bombs, there was increased security measures put in place, mobility was restricted, a decline in tourist arrivals, high inflation and increasing discontent. International forces closed ranks, linked with anti-Government elements in Sri Lanka and did their all to bust the regime. They did their all to give life-breath to the LTTE. Mahinda Rajapaksa came through.

The economy didn’t collapse. Inflation was brought down to manageable levels, the unemployment rate dropped, growth rate was maintained at an annual average above 6%, and in terms of incomes, Sri Lanka entered the ‘middle-income’ class of nations. There has been more foreign investment than in earlier years, a more streamlined strategy of development, a highly successful (comparative to countries with similar problems) process of returning to normalcy in a post-conflict situation, all adding up to making the ‘failed state’ rhetoric sound more like wish than informed prediction.

All things good and nice? No, not at all. The regime failed on a number of counts, but these were never the concerns of the Colombans at the time. They included a manifest lack of enthusiasm for correcting institutional flaws by way of the 17th Amendment or its equivalent, a manifest preference to subvert on occasion the Rule of Law, sloth in investigating attacks on and murder of journalists and an unbelievable slowness in responding to allegations of wrong-doing in awarding contracts and such.

The problem for the Colombans is that the UNP cannot afford to make any allegations without being called ‘pot’ for calling kettle ‘black’.

The Colombans were proven dead wrong on most counts. So what should they do if they had the slightest humility? Admit error, right? Well, in an ideal world where those who demand honestly are honest themselves, we would have that. No, the Colombans now want to punish Mahinda Rajapaksa for having proved their predictions were way off the mark. This is why I find it incredibly funny when Colombans use words like ‘corruption’, ‘nepotism’ like they were missiles that can take Mahinda Rajapaksa out of the political equation.

I would ask the Colombans a simple question. If Mahinda Rajapaksa had delivered heaven on earth (as defined by the Colombans), would you vote for him on January 26, 2010? It’s best they answer but I would like to bet that they would not and for a good reason too: ‘Mahinda didn’t get god to attend on us and wash our backsides’.

By the way, I still haven’t decided who to vote for. For me it’s a toss up between Mahinda Rajapaksa (if I took the gratitude-option; he more than anyone else gave me back the map of my country) or Ukku Banda Wijekoon (if I took the most-clean-option).

In any event, go to the polling booth early. Enjoy these few seconds where citizens can legitimately feel that they actually count. If you figure out the real reason why you vote for this or that candidate it would be great. If you do not or do not wish to, that’s fine too. That’s one of the good things about elections; you can fool anyone, including yourself. Cheers!

Malinda Seneviratne is a freelance writer who can be reached at malinsene@gmail.com.