Five minutes with the average voter

By Gamini Weerakoon

(January 31, Colombo, Sri Lanka Guardian) It’s been hard to avoid the “we told you so” comments ever since the election results started coming over the TV Wednesday morning. We were reading about democracy at dawn when our phone kept ringing and some of the cheer squad leaders of the incumbent regime were on the line.

“Where are you now? Under the bed?” asked a considerate but delighted colleague. We confessed that we had switched off the TV and were reading about democracy. He thought we were planning sabotage, or even worse things, and wanted to know what we were reading. We quoted from the matter before us, Winston Churchill: “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with an average voter.”

“That would have been said about him losing the elections after the last World War,” the proven prophet of January 26 said and hung up.

Masses as asses and pundits

Indeed: the masses are asses when they vote into power a government that we do not like and they are the repositories of profound wisdom when their choice of government coincides with ours.

The next day, in conversation with another prophet of the times, we were told: “Didn’t you hear? Follow the leader.” We said that the Leader that we have been writing to for some time was quite good enough and asked what his leader was going to do?

Abolish the executive presidency which everyone around has vowed to do at some time or other?

“Of course not; we are going to amend it. We need it to tame those like your leader,” he contended.

But wouldn’t old JRJ, wherever he may be, be chuckling that his constitution is still very much useful to incumbent presidents? Chandrika vowed to abolish it and refrained during her two terms. Now that the present incumbent has been given a second chance will he really do it?

“Fonseka and his supporters are in an international conspiracy against the Rajapaksa government and they would not succumb to such temptations,” he shot back

A century-strong cabinet to continue?

Would the new presidency do away with the more than 100-strong cabinet of ministers?
“Aha!” the cheer squad leader exclaimed. “You want to collapse the government even before parliament is dissolved, with the hope that the ministers would cross over to the UNP?”

“But will you pledge that if you win the parliamentary elections — which you are cock-sure of winning — the new government won’t have a century strong cabinet?” I asked.

My colleague got philosophical. “You know very well that privileges once given cannot be taken back, It applies to coolies, peons, doctors, administrative service officials — one and all.”

“So, ministers, peons, coolies and administrative officers are in the same category?”

“Why not? They are all human beings?”

“Going on the same principle shouldn’t coolies, peons, doctors, nurses and the like be all given bullet proof cars, paid chauffeurs, and body guards?”

International conspiracy

“All this is sour grapes because Fonseka couldn’t win the elections,” he claimed. “It is also a part of an international conspiracy to resuscitate the LTTE abroad and make them finance an insurgency here once again.”

“But aren’t the Americans cracking down on LTTE bank accounts and haven’t they sentenced LTTE arms dealers to long term imprisonment?”

“That is eye wash. They want to charge our war heroes with war crimes.” “Wasn’t Fonseka also questioned about war crimes?”

“That is a part of the international conspiracy,” he argued.

“Does it mean that when Fonseka led his troops in the teeth of opposition led by Barack Obama, Gordon Brown and others he was a part of this international conspiracy?”
“Didn’t Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Gordon Brown and Robert Blake all help Mahinda win the elections by opposing his military offensive?

“Didn’t they make Mahinda appear like a Sinhala David standing up to Goliath? “Were shortages of rice in the Pettah wholesale market, the rise of prices in carrots, brinjals and gotukola all a part of an international conspiracy with the active backing of Fonseka and Ranil Wickremesinghe?”

“Don’t be stupid,” says our Rajapaksa cheerleader. “The price of food was not an issue at the elections.”

It makes us go back to that Churchillian wisdom: The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with an average voter.